Saturday, January 22, 2011

"You can fight a rumour only with an even wilder rumour."

Exhibit A: In 1979, Werner Herzog obeys the terms of a bet to documentarian Errol Morris, and allows another documentarian, Les Blank, to film him boiling and eating one of his shoes.

Exhibit B: Werner Herzog is first on the scene of Joaquin Phoenix's 2006 car accident, and helps the disoriented Oscar nominee out of the wreckage to safety.

Exhibit C: Despite being shot in an uncomfortable place with an air rifle by an unseen sniper, Werner Herzog calmly completes a TV interview with the BBC.


Introductory facts:

Werner Herzog single-handedly rid Germany of the Berlin Wall. He merely looked at it and said, "I am laughing at you" without cracking a smile. The wall collapsed in disgrace.

Before "99 Luftballoons," Nena originally wrote a song called "99 Herzog Films," predicting that when they would be screened together in festival one day in the future, it would cause such a riot of emotion that Earth would explode.

A traffic camera once photographed Werner Herzog running a red light. When he saw the flash, Herzog stopped the car and got into a staredown with the camera. The police arrived, and Herzog said, "If the camera returns my soul, I will leave in peace." The police immediately let him go and destroyed the camera.

On the television news, a giant "H" on the weather map is not an indication of a high pressure front: It is merely where Herzog has chosen to bend nature to his will that day.

There is no such emotion as angst: it is only the awareness that somewhere in the world, Werner Herzog is doing your life's work better.


  1. Great :) Marc, have you seen this?

    Also, stuff that could qualify as Werner facts actually happened, unlike Chuck and his.

  2. Yes. YES! This is so undeniably true I can't even believe it. We must not let this die.

    To the Meme Generator!

  3. If Werner Herzog filmed Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris would spontaneously combust.