Bringing up Bunnies

Whoa. Guess it's been a while. {wipes some dust off the screen} Sorry about that, Compy. Need to get some...Endust.

So, first off, I must offer belated thanks to Schlockmania curator Don Guarisco for bestowing upon me the prestigous Zombie Rabbit Award. First conceived by iZombie, the award is a pay-it-forward recognition of those World Wild Web text destinations that have captured one's fancy and, more importanly, one's reading-while-the-boss-ain't-lookin' free time. Now sure, there are plenty out there who insist rabbits are queeeeaahhhs that smell like a bag o' bullshit, but seeing how I've only been at this blogging game for nine months, including an unexpected summer break, to get any kind of recognition this early in my third career means quite a lot. And since I've been asked to pass on the honor/horror to ten more people, I'll do so with rabid relish. In no particular order...

  1: Three Cheers for Darkened Years [Witney Seibold] 2: Jobu's Teepee [Amy Harber] 3: Cat's Blog [Cathie Horlick] 4: Aesthetisexuality [Sara Seltzer] 5: Kim Dot Dammit [Kim Nicolini] 6: House of Self Indulgence [Yum Yum] 7: Queer Sighted [Dave White] 8: Standing on My Soapbox Shouting At You [Hope Kaplan] 9: Noir Pictures [Lisa Jane Persky] 10: Jason Staebler is Dead [Joe Neff]

Meanwhile, summer is over, the freshman are getting fat, and I'm cleaning up the sidewalk where the frat boys shat. Yes, Dennis Cozzalio, magistrate of Sergio Leone and the Infield Fly Rule, has been served a syllabus by Professor David Huxley, who no doubt likely owns a pair of bunny slippers, for a back to school movie quizz. Bells are ringing, and there's scant time for scantron, so off we go... 

1) Classic film you most want to experience that has so far eluded you. 

Well, I'm going to lose points with the good professor right now by admitting I have not experienced BRINGING UP BABY. But my most-wanted experience...I've still never been to a proper presentation of SINGIN' IN THE RAIN. 

2) Greatest Criterion DVD/Blu-ray release ever 

Nobuo Nakagawa's JIGOKU (HELL) from 1960. A long time ago, I was asked what I thought was the least-recognized influential film in my estimation, and I stated this one, because even in my commonly-accepted geekdom I had never seen mention of it and as far as I knew it never got an initial U.S. release, yet upon seeing it in the early part of the '00's I was blown away by its staggering images of otherworldly torment, images that predate not only modern horror, but even the beloved Christian scare films of Ron Ormond and Estus Pirkle that played churches in the '60's all the way into the present. The fact that Criterion put its imprimatur on this movie and released it on DVD, aware of its extremely marginal awareness in the U.S., meant that they were ready to put their reputation on the line to get more people to check it out, and for that they'll always have my gratitude. 

3) The Big Sleep or The Maltese Falcon? 

The stuff that dreams are made of. 

4) Jason Bateman or Paul Rudd? 

Jason Bateman, because he managed The Dregs of Humanity during their short-lived career. 

5) Best mother/child (male or female) movie star combo 

Gena Rowlands and Nick Cassavetes 

6) Who are the Robert Mitchums and Ida Lupinos among working movie actors? Do modern parallels to such masculine and no-nonsense feminine stars even exist? If not, why not? 

Too loaded a question. Pass. 

7) Favorite Preston Sturges movie 

I'm inclined to say THE PALM BEACH STORY because of its accelerated ridiculousness, but ultimately I'm a raging sentimentalist with a predilection for the elegant blonde noir vixen, so I gotta say SULLIVAN'S TRAVELS. 

8) Odette Yustman or Mary Elizabeth Winstead? 

Odette would definitely be in the glamour gal category I just said I'm a sucker for, but Mary Elizabeth seems like the more plausible fantasy for a moax like myself. 

9) Is there a movie that if you found out a partner or love interest loved (or didn't love) would qualify as a Relationship Deal Breaker? 

I once had a quite vociferous argument with an ex-g.f. over her inability to appreciate LOCAL HERO. Ain't the only reason she's got the ex- hyphenate before her, but it was a significant factor. 

10) Favorite DVD commentary 

You mean aside from mine? *cough cough* I'd probably go with Tim Lucas's exhaustingly thorough commentaries for various Mario Bava films, which of course would be mere appetizer to his humonungous banquet book ALL THE COLORS OF THE DARK. 

11) Movies most recently seen on DVD, Blu-ray and theatrically 

DVD: TRANSSIBERIAN Blu-Ray: n/a Theatrical: SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD [third viewing] 

12) Dirk Bogarde or Alan Bates? 

Bogarde always seems synonymous with tragedy - for the sake of my sanity (if not my liver), I have to go with Alan Bates. 

13) Favorite DVD extra 

The original theatrical trailer, because they're getting rarer on modern releases. Either the studios include some altered version that doesn't reflect what played in theatres, or they don't include it at all. 

14) Brian De Palma’s Scarface— yes or no? 

Yes. What that make me? Bad? Good? 

15) Best comic moment from a horror film that is not a horror comedy (Young Frankenstein, Love At First Bite, et al.) 

Angela Bettis criticizing the portrayal of cannibalism in Jeremy Sisto's college short film in MAY 

16) Jane Birkin or Edwige Fenech? 

While I must respect how many of my friends were likely conceived thanks to Ms. Birkin's three minutes of Heaven with Mr. Gainsbourg, I think all of them would like to possess Ms. Fenech's secret of eternal youth. 

17) Favorite Wong Kar-wai movie 

IN THE MOOD FOR LOVE 

18) Best horrific moment from a comedy that is not a horror comedy 

The climactic "confrontation" between Lee Evans and Oliver Platt in Peter Chelsom's FUNNY BONES. 

19) From 2010, a specific example of what movies are doing right... 

DINNER FOR SCHMUCKS didn't just restage DINER DES CONS with Americans, but radically explored and heightened the premise and made their own original movie that was just as entertaining as the original. 

20) Ryan Reynolds or Chris Evans? 

Jason Statham 

21) Speculate about the future of online film writing. What’s next? 

I see online film writing in the same position that stand-up comedy was in the late '80's/early '90's: too many people think they can do it, and there's too many cheapskate web platforms with Z-Brick walls ready to exploit them. So if the medium is to be taken seriously, there needs to be a thinning of the herd and some of these potzers need to be purged from the tubes: today's EAT PRAY LOVE takedown is the blogging equivalent of yesterday's Jack Nicholson impersonator. 

22) Roger Livesey or David Farrar? 

Anton Walbrook 

23) Best father/child (male or female) movie star combo 

Melvin and Mario Van Peebles in SWEET SWEETBACK'S BAAADASSSSS SONG; how many dads would immortalize their son surrounded by scantily-clad yet motherly hookers? 

24) Favorite Freddie Francis movie (as Director) 

Argh, I've seen so few of Francis' directorial outings. I know it's only reshoots he did, but I'm going to have to say DAY OF THE TRIFFIDS, since despite its corny-looking presentation I was caught up in the onscreen battle of man against foliage. 

25) Bringing Up Baby or The Awful Truth? 

The Awful Truth is I've only seen THE AWFUL TRUTH. 

26) Tina Fey or Kristen Wiig? 

Shouldn't someone be filling up a slanket with their farts right now? 

27) Name a stylistically important director and the best film that would have never been made without his/her influence. 

If Lina Wertmuller hadn't proved her ability to get into the muck of machismo and the survival instinct in SEVEN BEAUTIES, I think Kathryn Bigelow would have had a harder time making THE HURT LOCKER. 

28) Movie you’d most enjoy seeing remade and transplanted to a different culture (i.e. Yimou Zhang’s A Woman, a Gun and a Noodle Shop.) 

Before her untimely death, I had fantasized about a reimagining of THE GIRL CAN'T HELP IT with Adrienne Shelly in the Tom Ewell role, charged with making a musical heartthrob out of a gangster's sister's boytoy, and her dragging him from one subscene to the next trying to find a persona that would click, and of course in the process of transforming him falling in love. (Hence the "can't help" part) Oh, and I was going to have The Smithereens cover the theme song too. 

29) Link to a picture/frame grab of a movie image that for you best illustrates bliss. Elaborate.

Half a boy and half a man, comforted by the madonna and the whore. 

30) With a tip of that hat to Glenn Kenny, think of a just-slightly-inadequate alternate title for a famous movie. (Examples from GK: Fan Fiction; Boudu Relieved From Cramping; The Mild Imprecation of the Cat People) 

SOMEONE WHO IS NOT THE SON OF GOD

Push the button, Marc

From the moment I joined the intarwebs commewnitty, I've been an easy mark (pun fully intended) for a good survey/questionnaire meme. And Dennis Cozzalio, proprietor of the excellent Sergio Leone and the Infield Fly Rule blog, has apparently joined forces with other correspondents in the service of legendary scoundrel Professor Fate for a heavy duty spring movie quizz. As that Professor demands satisfaction, I offer rejoinder in the paraphrased words of that other great mad Professor, Julius Sumner Miller: This, flicks, is my business!

1) William Demarest or Broderick Crawford?

Amist all the over-the-top insanity of IT'S A MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD, WORLD, one small moment of palpable hearbreak and audience sympathy occurs, and it's when William Demarest reluctantly proclaims, "Attention all units: arrest Captain Culpepper."

2) What movies improve when seen in a state of altered consciousness? (Patrick Robbins)

Well, I will admit that I was baked like Alaska when I watched last year's LAND OF THE LOST, and consequently gave it a three-star assessment.

3) Favorite studio or production company logo?

United Artists, post-Transamerica, 1981:


Many a night of falling asleep with the TV on was interrupted by this sneaky intro.

4) Celeste Holm or Joan Blondell?

"The cynicism you refer to, I acquired the day I discovered I was different from little boys!"

5) What is the most overrated "classic" film? (Tony Dayoub)

THE MATRIX. A movie that purports to take place in an environment where any and all things are possible, and the climactic battles are still fought with guns?

6) What movie do you know for sure you saw, but have no memory of seeing? (Patricia Yokoe Cozzalio)

Back in the glory days of pre-Fox network WXIX-19 in Cincinnati, there most have been dozens of afternoon movies that I watched with the faintest of attention. If I could summon up one, probably John Berry's CLAUDINE with Diahann Carroll and James Earl Jones; all I remember is the announcer's i.d. breaks during the broadcast.

7) Favorite Hammer Film?

KISS OF THE VAMPIRE

8) Gregory Itzin or Joe Pantoliano?

Gotta have pants. Joey Pants!

9) Create a double feature with two different movies with the same title. No remakes. (Peter Nellhaus)

How about a triple feature of Paul Morrissey's HEAT (1972) with Joe Dallesandro, Dick Richards' HEAT (1986) with Burt Reynolds, and Michael Mann's HEAT (1985) with DeNiro and Pacino.

10) Akiko Wakabayashi or Mie Hama? (Ray Young)

Umm...Abraham Lincoln?

11) Can you think of a (non-porn) movie that informed you of the existence of a sexual act you had not known of prior? (Bob Westal)

I think I recognized Troy McClure's paraphilia in such movies as STROKER BASS and EVERYBODY'S FIN.

12) Can you think of a black & white movie that might actually improve if it was in color? (Patrick Robbins)

I recall seeing some bizarre colorized footage from Bunuel's UN CHIEN ANDALOU that was in keeping with the already dadaesque visuals; I would enjoy seeing the whole thing done up in similarly off-the-sprockets fashion.

13) Favorite Pedro Almodovar Film?

ALL ABOUT MY MOTHER. The apex of his gift for comedy, tragedy, colorful women, troubled men, and a world that can be painful, but ultimately works for the better.

14) Kurt Raab or Udo Kier?

Who da man? Udo man!

15) Worst main title song (Peter Nellhaus)

While Eric Serra's instrumental theme for LA FEMME NIKITA is awesome, whoever suggested that he and Luc Besson should add English lyrics to it for the closing credits ("The Dark Side of Time") should be buried in Row 34, Plot 12.

16) Last movie you saw in a theater? On DVD, Blu-ray or other interesting location/format?

Theatre: Robert Flaxman and Daniel Goldman's 1976 documentary A LABOR OF LOVE;
DVD: Michael Winner's PARTING SHOTS
VHS: Harvey Hart's THE PYX.

17) Favorite movie reference within a Woody Allen movie? (Larry Aydlette)

The constant allusions to THE SORROW AND THE PITY in ANNIE HALL. Reminds me of how my longtime roommate and I were almost forcing everyone we knew to watch HOOP DREAMS.

18) Mary Astor or Claudette Colbert?

Ask Roy Orbison.

19) Favorite trailer (provide YouTube link if possible)?

Jean-Luc Godard's CONTEMPT (LE MEPRIS):


Possibly the greatest trailer ever made.

20) Oddest double bill you either saw or saw listed in a theater

There was that Harlan Ellison-curated New Beverly double feature of Kurosawa's STRAY DOG with Cimino's THUNDERBOLT AND LIGHTFOOT.

21) Favoite Phil Karlson film?

HORNETS' NEST. People are upset about one little girl wreaking mayhem in KICK-ASS? How about Rock Hudson teaching a whole village of orphans to kill?

22) Favorite “social problem” picture?

I suppose HOOP DREAMS, because it suggests without preaching that such problems, with steely determination, can be overcome.

23) Your favourite Harryhausen film/monster? (Ali Arikan)

My first striking Harryhausen memory is the snake woman from THE SEVENTH VOYAGE OF SINBAD, but I think I'd have to go with THE BEAST FROM 20,000 FATHOMS, because as Ray Bradbury put it, he was really just a poor brute who fell in love with a foghorn.

24) What was the first movie you saw with your significant other? (Patrick Robbins)

I've been unattached for far too long; thanks for reminding me, Prof. ;(

25) John Payne or Ronald Reagan?

Well...

26) Movie you feel a certain pressure or obligation to see that you have not yet actually seen

There are so many gaps in my classics it's shameful. But I think the two that keep haunting me the most are SINGIN' IN THE RAIN and THE TREASURE OF THE SIERRA MADRE.

27) Favorite “psychedelic” movie (Hey, man, like, define it however you want, man…)

It's not a good movie in any way, but I'm fond of Robert Freeman's THE TOUCHABLES as psychedelia, because it does feel like the crew mixed up the wrong chemicals during a Harold sketch and put the whole thing on film. And really, being in a big bubble house as the captive of hot '60's chicks is awful groovy, man.

28) Thelma Ritter or Eve Arden?

"Nothing has caused the human race so much trouble as intelligence."

29) Favorite iconic shot or image from a film?


Whether you believe like me that it is a grim reminder that when you leave a place of magic you can never return, or believe like others that it is a glimmer of hope, that solitary ringing in that lonely phone box at the end of LOCAL HERO gets me every time.

30) What is the movie that inspired the most memorable argument you ever had about a movie?

My longest relationship was marred when she insisted on turning off LOCAL HERO an hour in because she was bored. I did not take that appraisal very well. Not the primary reason that the relationship didn't work out, but it was a contributing factor.

31) Raquel Torres or Lupe Velez?


You know what? Lina Romay makes me happy.

32) Favorite adaptation of Shakespeare to a film?

Kenneth Branagh's HAMLET, the GONE WITH THE WIND of Shakespeare adaptations. It seems almost every previous film of HAMLET felt locked into the dialogue scenes, but Branagh understood that a movie can show anything it wants. So in a brilliant stroke, he presents every line of the play while depicting details barely hinted at - Hamlet and Ophelia in passionate privacy, Fortinbras plotting his return to the throne, the size of the armies, etc - and does it in gleaming bright 70mm. The staging of the "My thoughts be bloody" monologue manages to even upstage "To be or not to be" as the best speech in the play, and is as perfect an emotional harbinger and intermission marker as Scarlett O'Hara's "I shall never go hungry again!" What is arguably the greatest English-language play was long overdue for this epic film treatment.

33) Andy Warhol’s Frankenstein (in 3D)-- yes or no?

YES! It still galls me that I missed it in childhood and had to wait until my 30's to see it in all it's organ-hovering glory.

34) Favorite movie rating?

I stand with Strong Bad in my love of the ultra-rare triple-R rating.

Which reminds me, I know Don May at Synapse Films reads this blog, so hey man, why haven't you licensed WOMEN'S PENITENTIARY BAKESALE NIGHTMARE yet???


35) Olivia Barash or Joyce Hyser?

Any woman who can make herself so mannish as to inspire babydyke fantasies for two generations, and both bag and dump Warren Beatty, has got a gift. Joyce Hyser for the win.

36) What was the movie that convinced you your favorite movie genre was your favorite movie genre?

Probably that first time I saw IT'S A MAD MAD MAD MAD WORLD on CBS, New Year's Eve, with my parents. My childhood head recalls them saying how they'd seen it in New York City during their short sojourn living there before I was born. Watching them still laughing at it, and how many times I was laughing at it, convinced me that comedy was the greatest thing ever.

37) Favorite Blake Edwards movie?

THE PARTY.