I'm not particularly interested in writing a review of Tom Six's headline-grabbing horror film THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE (FIRST SEQUENCE), and for personal reasons I am embargoed from doing so anyway. However, my friend, the musician, engineer, and dead ringer for that Encyclopaedia Brittanica kid Andy Hentz, and myself verbalized some amusing thoughts during our private screening:
1. Dieter Laser looks like a bastard child of Christopher Walken and Tommy Wiseau;
2. Two Girls, One Colon?
3. "Does this washcloth smell like chloroform to you?"
4. "Here we are / Ass to face / A couple of silver spoons..."
5. Someone needs to turn the Human Centipede into a new dance craze, kind of a hybrid between the Bunny Hop and the Lambeth Walk.
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