2 Five, 2 Furious

I don't want to say I expected little from 2025, but when it began, I marked the ball drop with a shot of Malort, and days before posting this, I allowed a camera and other tools to enter my colon. Going in with a bad taste in my mouth, and going out with an inventory of things that should have killed me but didn't, that's as good a metaphor for this anno domini of utter dummery. I was lucky enough to not be in Cincinnati during their massive snowfall, I was a safe distance from all the fire zones in Southern California, someone I knew for over 40 years dropped their mask and told me straight out what kind of  sodomite they believed me to be and I didn't even give them the satisfaction of a raised eyebrow, and despite having features so ethnically ambiguous as to be a bigot's wet dream, I have not yet been accosted by any mercenaries with thrift store camo and covered faces. Not. Yet.

Either God is uniquely looking out for me, or Satan has lousy recon.

The people who don't have the advantage of blending into the rabble...the ones I'm privileged to know personally, they made it through to the end of the year with me as well, some with more battle scars than others. I'm relieved for them. I am keenly aware, however, that ones that you may know, or ones that people whom you know keep tabs on that you didn't know about, didn't make it, be it dungeon, fire, or sword that claimed them. I am aching with you.

There is plenty in this country, in this world, that has taken place, that is still happening the very minute you're reading this, that angers me. The most frustrating above all, is that even if a benevolent outer space monster came down and ate every individual responsible for it all tomorrow morning, the seeds that have been planted will take generations to uproot. I was led to believe as a child that civilization would continue to evolve towards some form of universal empathy and goodwill, and now it would appear that from now until the day my marker gets called that the best that I will witness in that shrinking window is mere damage control and reconstruction.

So, kids, who wantsta talkbout movies???

One quantum of solace in a year's quandry of shit - more physical media releases with my involvement!

DROP ZONE

Contributor: Liner notes essay 

"[I] very proudly have put together a dream package [for a] film that nobody would ever have expected to see get a double disc UHD/BD release with forty pages of essays (from myself, Bilge Ebiri, Marc Edward Heuck and Simon Abrams) two commentary tracks (including one with me, Badham and cinematographer Roy H. Wagner) and a handful of insightful, and fun, video pieces." - Justin LaLiberty, Curator of Cinématographe, Producer at Vinegar Syndrome 

AVAILABLE NOW - ORDER HERE

TUNNEL VISION

Contributor: Commentary track

"Heuck has a hard time keeping his political biases out of the discussion but gives a thorough summary of the cast and production." - Christopher Zabel, DoBlu dot com

“It’s fucking great...I’m super impressed. I’m really happy you did it!” - Stuart Shapiro, co-creator of "NIGHT FLIGHT" and producer/presenter of TUNNEL VISION

AVAILABLE NOW - ORDER HERE

BREAKING GLASS

Contributor: Commentary track

"Mark Edward Heuck provides a new commentary for BREAKING GLASS, examining the complicated history of the film, including its prehistory and eventual release in different forms. He does break down the differences between the two versions...provides some helpful cultural history about what was happening in the U.K. at the time...and traces the personal challenges that Hazel O’Connor underwent after the film was released." - Stephen Bjork, The Digital Bits

AVAILABLE NOW - ORDER HERE

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN THE FABULOUS STAINS

Contributor: Alternate cover artwork created with Scott Saslow; newly recorded audio commentary; additional newly recorded audio commentary with Jake Fogelnest; archival audio interview with "NIGHT FLIGHT" co-creator Stuart Shapiro; deleted scenes commentary with Jonathan Hertzberg

AVAILABLE 1/20/26 - PRE-ORDER HERE

THE VISITOR

Contributor: Liner notes essay

“Well this is really something special - I started reading this and just wasn't even remotely prepared for the emotional twist it took, which is very beautiful and very moving indeed. [To] my eye this is really fantastic, and it's such a privilege to be able to include it in this release. Thank you for opening yourself up like this and sharing this with us, it really is special.”  - Alexandra Heller-Nicholas, disc producer for Arrow Films

[Some of you may remember I recorded a commentary track with Joanne Nail for the 2010 Code Red DVD of THE VISITOR. Arrow tried very hard to obtain permission to include it for this new upgrade, but apparently, since they didn't leave a will or contingency plan for the event of their demise, whoever is taking care of the Olsen brothers' assets after their departure, was...not cooperative. Please buy this new 4K edition, and keep that old DVD if you got it!]

AVAILABLE 2/17/26 - PRE-ORDER HERE

SHOESTRING SLASHERS PART II

Contributor: Archival commentary track for NIGHT OF THE DRIBBLER with star Fred Travalena (RIP) and filmmaker/fan Scott Spiegel (RIP)

“Extras include an audio commentary track with star Fred Travalena and Scott Spiegel (INTRUDER), moderated by ‘BEAT THE GEEKS’ Movie Geek, Marc Edward Heuck. The three men spend most of the track pointing out the film's obvious flaws and in doing so, are a thousand times funnier than the film itself. Fred also gets a chance to talk about his career, including his many late night television guest appearances as well as showcasing a number of his impressions.” - Jason McElreath, DVD Drive-In

“The sense of humor behind the track is a good one and anyone who remembers Heuck from the far too short lived ‘BEAT THE GEEKS’ show knows he can be pretty sarcastic when he wants to, as such, he's a good choice to moderate this discussion. Travalena talks about some of the people who he worked with on the project, discusses some of the locations, and generally just seems to be having a good time here...” - Ian Jane, DVD Talk

AVAILABLE EARLY 2026 - PRE-ORDER HERE

And again, that's solely the stuff that has been announced within this year. I have a little more work that's in the can but not yet on the wire. But I urge you not to claw onto thoughts of terror; I'll give you all the clues.

We don't have a Jury Prize this year, but I deliriously award my Runaway Jury Prize to GABBY'S DOLLHOUSE: THE MOVIE. I knew nothing of the prolific Netflix series that inspired it, and I never got invited to the homes of parents with kids that did; all I knew going in was cats, pastels, and Kristin Wiig. Because was it not Godard who said all you need to make a movie is a girl and a cat? Months after its brief theatrical run, I still have yet to encounter a narcotic that has put me in a state of giddy bliss in the manner that GABBY'S DOLLHOUSE has. If you have been wondering where the next THE APPLE, TEEN WITCH, STANDING OVATION, or OOGIELOVES would come from, if you've ever watched hours of middle school-centered anime and just thought, "NOT! CUTE! ENOUGH!", if you've been chasing a dragon made out of cotton candy and ketamine, here it is. And yet, still safe for children!

Ten Worthwhile Films Nobody Saw But Me

Americana

Anything That Moves
Bob Trevino Likes It

Chain Reactions

Dangerous Animals

Mickey 17
Queen of the Ring
Relay

Silent Night Deadly Night [yes, they remade it again]

The Things You Kill

Better live now, before the ICE groypers come knockin' at your door, it's the Top 13 of 2025

13. SIRAT

12. HEDDA

11. BLUE MOON

10. FRANKENSTEIN

9. TRAIN DREAMS

8. IT WAS JUST AN ACCIDENT

7. SHE RIDES SHOTGUN

6. THE SECRET AGENT

5. SPLITSVILLE

4. ONE BATTLE AFTER ANOTHER

3. SORRY BABY

2. EEPHUS

1. SINNERS

Finally, for as much as a Funeral Parade of Giants pressed forward throughout this year, I mostly linger on many dark and ruefully humorous thoughts months after the wake of losing my valued friend Michael Schlesinger. Frankly, I think he is in the spirit realm guffawing at how this past January, amidst the horrifying rash of fires in his (and mine) adopted home of Los Angeles, he was in one of the cleanest, safest places possible - almost a month in Cedars Sinai Hospital - and yet the Reaper still found him.

Then again, his terrible puns would be the death of anyone.

Obits have covered his rich life of film devotion, but in brief, you can thank him for easy access to DANGER: DIABOLIK, IT'S ALL TRUE, THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE, several Jackie Chan and Millennium Godzilla films, and THE LOST SKELETON OF CADAVRA. Along with the unabridged LAWRENCE OF ARABIA and a Criterion-level edition of IT'S A MAD MAD MAD MAD WORLD.

I thank him simply for paving the way as a very funny and film-literate Ohioan made good in Hollywood. And we mutually delivered groaners to each other for decades.

As That Man Who Appreciated The Three Stooges On a Much Deeper Level Than You, I've no doubt that after leaving this plain, he showed up at the dinner party of souls and was met by an officious Vernon Dent, harumphing that he'd arrived much too early.

“I was born and raised in Dayton, Ohio. Parents both fled Germany – dad was a grocer, mom was a housewife. Not a very warm and loving household so the movies as well as TV were kind of an escape for me...They didn’t talk much about it for obvious reasons...they weren’t very talkative. That’s partly from being German I guess, and partly from how they were constructed...I don’t know that anybody gets up in the morning and says, ‘Oh I’ll have Rice Krispies and become a film buff.’ Why are some people attracted to sports or attracted to literature or mathematics or science? It’s just something programmed into us that’s intangible. But living in a house where there was not a lot of conversation, certainly not directed at me – actors became my second family. Or even my first one, perhaps.”

Michael Schlesinger, September 4, 1950 - January 9, 2025

It may sound counterproductive in a time when it seems spoiled brats are running amok, but I pray you can still connect with your solemn wide-eyed child of long ago that always finds this season so magic.