And if you'll indulge me a moment to catalogue myself, I think my personal lameitude was significantly reduced as well. I accomplished a lot of good things. Not just here at the blog, which, granted, has become more of an infrequent salon, but in that great big real world as well. I met Dario Argento. I was interviewed for a film preservation documentary. I cut a homemade trailer for one of my favorite cult films that the director liked more than what a major studio put together originally. I did an intensive Q&A with Todd Solondz that offered real insights. Hell, I even created an internet meme! So yeah, maybe I don't post here enough, but if you're paying attention, you'll see my handiwork in other places, and that's gotta count fer sumthin'.
But let's focus on the reason why you're stealing away from your family on Christmas Day and reading this blog: My assessment on the year in movies.
a kitty to be awarded to the graduate with the absolute lowest GPA, my special Jury Prize, or for this occasion, the "There There Honey" prize, goes to THE OOGIELOVES IN THE BIG BALLOON ADVENTURE. There must be something about the pretense of creating movies "exclusively for children" that makes the creative team throw rationality out the window like a box of melted Otter Pops - which, coincidentally, is the approximate visual aesthetic of this film! When your toddler screams "Dada!" during this show, you may not know whether to reach for a pacifier or a Salvador Dali volume. The fact that the advertising focused solely on it being from a "marketing wizard" that sold you other prefab merchandise-driven kiddie fare should make one want to enjoy said astroturf artists eating their cold mush. But dammit, when I'm presented with disturbing innuendo between an intelligent vacuum cleaner and a sassy talking window, I'm giving in to the insanity. They may not have earned enough box revenue to even pay off the giant Sunset Blvd. billboard featured here, but they'll happily get my money again if the ever-threatened midnight hipster revival shows rev up.
Speaking of revving, the keys are in the ignition, let's prime the engine...